Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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