how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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