I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
