Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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