try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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