Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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