Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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