You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
