but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
