There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She told me I should be a condom model.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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