i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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