are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
