Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.

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  (716): it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis. http://tfl.nu/lwww
  Replies (57) Good night (6190) Bad night (1127)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.

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  (610): I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity. http://tfl.nu/4je5
  Replies (9) Good night (5200) Bad night (1035)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony

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  (804): Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony http://tfl.nu/wi0z
  Replies (13) Good night (2919) Bad night (1305)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.

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  (716): You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough. http://tfl.nu/zxfj
  Replies (8) Good night (950) Bad night (2720)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.

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  (815): i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning. http://tfl.nu/0ff2
  Replies (4) Good night (909) Bad night (2054)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.

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  (804): They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source. http://tfl.nu/hphy
  Replies (13) Good night (1841) Bad night (1183)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.

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  (636): I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph. http://tfl.nu/fo7j
  Replies (7) Good night (2293) Bad night (738)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.

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  (778): Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties. http://tfl.nu/x4bh
  Replies (3) Good night (1526) Bad night (780)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.

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  (573): I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles. http://tfl.nu/yuyj
  Replies (10) Good night (1959) Bad night (626)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously

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  (360): he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously http://tfl.nu/w3a5
  Replies (3) Good night (1942) Bad night (641)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?

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  (610): Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits? http://tfl.nu/td8v
  Replies (15) Good night (2173) Bad night (572)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?

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  (503): How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor? http://tfl.nu/eg7j
  Replies (6) Good night (1416) Bad night (1068)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"

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  (701): I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day" http://tfl.nu/o3b3
  Replies (2) Good night (1076) Bad night (453)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?

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  (702): Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated? http://tfl.nu/6luu
  Replies (2) Good night (695) Bad night (371)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress

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  (701): Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress http://tfl.nu/1hn4
  Replies (9) Good night (1228) Bad night (709)

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