Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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