If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
