"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
