he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize