we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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