Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
