Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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