everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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