Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
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My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
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He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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