dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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