butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize