I love black thongs
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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