We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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