Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
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Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
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we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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