I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
