the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
