Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
