You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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