Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
