I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
