I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
