I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
