Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
