I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
