Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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