i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
