I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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