It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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