we made out on top of his cat.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
