Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She's just so happy...and so naked.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
