We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
