also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
