We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My legs feel like baby dolphins
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
