Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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