i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
