When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
