If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
