I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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