I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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