No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
