She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
