I am puke
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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