i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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